What a great way to start our day…..

We received our answer from Dr. Samit earlier this morning. Angel’s retrieval was done today. 16 Oocytes (eggs) were retrieved and insemination was done using Kevin’s semen immediately following.
We were told that Angel is recovering well. She is cramping a little with some bloating. We were told these are common effects after egg retrieval.  She will be resting at the clinic for a few hours of observation. When the doctor does release her, she will return back to her hotel to prepare for her departure back to Seattle.
As for Kevin and I we are overwhelmed with joy and love. We are excited to have reached the next stage of progress, implantation. Dr.Samit said this will take place this Thursday. He and his team will transfer 5 embryos into our surrogate as per our request (yes, we are trying for twins). The count of five embryos transferred at one time is the maximum allowed by India’s law.
There is something that begins to stir inside of me that I’ve never felt before. All I wanted to do was pray. I thanked the Lord for his blessing us with this opportunity. I spoke to Him for a few minutes, than I said Amen. As for the rest of my day, I was telling my family and friends the great news. They too shared this happy day with us. We are now waiting till Thursday to hear how the transfer goes.

Requesting the status please….

We heard from Lexi this evening. She was very patient and understanding to our questions and concerns. She informed us that she was told that tomorrow (Monday) will be the day of retrieval. She said that she will contact her team at KIC to get an update. She also said that she will request the team to have more communication between us.
Before we got off the phone with Lexi, she reassured us that everything is moving along nicely. We feel a little more at ease for now. Hopefully we will hear back from Anjani or Dr.Samit in the next day or two.

We can’t sleep…. We can’t sleep….

These past several days have been filled with so many questions and wonder. Kevin and I have taken our guess as to how many eggs will be retrieved from our donor. Kevin says 18, I say 14. We both find ourselves reading many articles pertaining to this stage of retrieval. We have also researched the process in between the fertilization and the implantation. The embryos’ will be monitored by Dr.Samit for three days to observe the growth of each one. Within these three days the cells division takes place. Each embryo should have six to nine cells divided within itself. The slow growing or fragmentation has occurred within the embryos, these will not be used for implantation. A fertility doctor wants the strong, minimal fragmented embryos. Doctors here in the United States prefer to what five days of growth. This is the “blastocyst” stage. This makes it easier for the fertility doctor to determine which embryo(s) will implant and develop.  It also insures less risk of multiple births. India is different. The standard growth time after retrieval is three days. After which each embryo are then graded. Depending on the intended parents, we have the choice to choose up to five embryos to be implanted at one time. The remaining embryos’ are then clinically frozen for future use.
It’s been a few days since I’ve last spoken to Angel, I’m becoming concerned. So Kevin and I called Lexi and we received her voicemail. We left a message asking her to please call us back with any updates from the clinic.
As for us, it’s a wonder how our feet haven’t left the ground yet. We are floating on cloud nine. This beginning has become all of what Kevin and I do. Literally, we have surrounded our life around having a baby. We are basing this all on assumption that we will get lucky on our first try. We constantly talk about becoming parents.
From the names to the education we will provide him.
We too surf the web. Most of our free time is spent learning and absorbing as much as we can for this step of our IVF.
 Yesterday I was researching how IVF became started and by whom. Going through an article on line we came across something very interesting. IVF began with a British biologist Robert G. Edwards who created in vitro fertilization with a colleague, Patrick Steptoe, a gynecologist and medical researcher. The pair's efforts led to the birth of the first "test tube baby," Louise Brown, on July 25, 1978. Since then, over four million babies have been born through IVF. Because of these two men, thousands of family’s are able to have their own baby through his research. It just amazes us what science and mankind have created throughout time.
I too think because we are beginning IVF I am hearing more talk of it now a days. I hear it on the news, magazines, blogs, newspapers and conversations from other women that surround me. Just the other day I was in a department store’s fitting room and two women were talking about the one’s surrogate. True story. I think this coincidence goes along with that saying” because you are currently experiencing the newness of something, you will suddenly see or hear about it more around you.” Either way, we both are enjoying the talk of others. We don’t feel so alone and segregated by our choice to have a family through IVF.
As for the “waiting game”, we are sure Dr.Samit and his team is doing everything possible to assure us a healthy baby. As for updates, we will request that they are sent to us a little more frequently. What can I say, we’re worry warts!

And to all a good night…

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. All I could do was think about how I reacted to the email and how I didn’t respond to Angel’s message. I went over everything I felt and thought yesterday. Is this process hard for me, yes. Was my past hard for me to accept, yes. But like my sister said, I need to stop staring into the past. Look at the present. See what is happening around me. I know what is happening is positive. I need to stay positive. So, I am going to try my hardest to look at each day as a stepping stone towards becoming a mother. And when I do, I will know that I am and will forever be blessed with a gift from God.
Since I couldn’t sleep, I got up from bed very early this morning. I wanted to reach out and respond to Angel’s email from yesterday. I thought about what I was going to say. I couldn’t find the right words. So I reached into my heart and began to type. This is what I found deep within myself “When I received your email, the reality of this whole process FINALLY hit me. Needless to say I had a very emotional moment. Good one, just like..wow, this is really happening. I've waited sixteen years for this and it's here..happening. We are so truly blessed that you found the purpose, blessing and life through this process that lead you to us. We thank the good Lord we found you. Please know that you are and always will be cherished in my heart. I will continue to think positive thoughts for you, us and the future”.
I feel a lot better since yesterday’s melt down. I had time..a lot of time, to think about things. Again, I am a firm believer, everything happens for a reason. I know..I know..I'm extremely all over the place with my emotions. Believe me...I know. Blogging is one way of helping me see things more clearly. And to feel as though I am possibly helping another person out there going through the same situation. The experience of it all. You all get to hear the best and the worst of it. 
Until then, we will wait these next few days to find out how many eggs were retrieved from our donor. Wish us luck and please pray.

Received contact from our donor….

First thing every morning we check our email in hopes of updates from KIC. Much to my surprise, we received an email from Angel. It was a picture of Angel standing next to a poster at the clinic with a beautiful smile from ear to ear.
Before I continue I need to explain to you in detail what the poster looks like. In this lengthy poster is a cloaked woman facing us the viewer’s. She is embracing a naked infant (reflecting the symbol of birth of innocence and purity) against her chest. Above the woman and child reads “Mother’s Love”. I stood in place staring at the photo. I couldn’t stop looking at Angel, then the poster, then back at Angel. I slowly felt myself becoming emotionally upset, but said nothing to Kevin or Angel. I showed Kevin the email and went about my day at the office.
It was around nine thirty when I had to talk to someone about these emotions that were about to surface. I turned to my good friend Kaelyn I work with. She knows me very well. After telling her about the email I told her I was upset. She asked why? I told her “I’m not sure why she took that picture? I have several opinions about it. My first thought was, she is the biological mother making this miracle. She felt something when she saw that poster so she took the picture. Being so openly connected to us, she sent it without thinking how it may/may not affect me? And…. well, actually…that is my only opinion. I don’t find comfort in it at all.”
Kaelyn looked at me, gave me the look and told me I was reading into things way too much..like I always do. I said thanked her and left it at that.
About an hour later I had hit my peck and felt the hurricane approaching. I called my sister Crystal and just sobbed my heart out. I began explaining everything from beginning to end about this photo. I let everything out…she just listened. I told her that I know what Angel’s role is in this. I don’t need to be reminded that she has the possibility of becoming pregnant and I never will. I don’t understand why she would take a picture next to the words “mother’s love?” Does she think she is the mother? Yes, biologically, but, no…I’m going to be the mother. In the middle of my sobbing I found myself expressing things I have never spoken about. How I look in the mirror everyday and know I will never be able to see a life growing inside of me. All I see year after year is my reflection..getting older. I don’t understand how I ended up infertile? I have lived a good life. Followed the law, believe and try my best to walk in the Lord’s words. I am kind to others. I reach out and help those who are in need. Not because I was told to. Because that is how I am wired. I don’t know how to be mean and vicious. I don’t understand why? Why me? Why do I think about this photographer like this? Am I too insecure?
My sister then comforted me with deep words that only a few new how to answer me. She told me that I am finally moving forward with becoming a mom. I am dealing with a lot of feelings and thoughts I have repressed for years. And that it is okay. But I do need to face them and deal with them. Yes, we are starting our journey towards parenthood. I’m scared. And I doubt everything about myself right now. I explained to my sister that I have accepted my fate. And I am trying my hardest to move forward with my life. She told me the only way I will move forward, is not to stare too long into my past. She too told me that I was reading too much into the photo. Instead be thankful that Angel wants to share her experience and life with us. I thanked my sister for being my sounding board and my better conscious. I don’t know what I would do without her sometimes.
Later this evening I told Kevin how I felt about the photo. He said, “Honey, that is one of two pictures they have hanging up in the entire clinic. She just took a picture there to let us know that she made it to the clinic and she too is excited for us.  I couldn’t help but chuckle. Thinking to myself that only a woman in my shoes would understand what I was feeling this morning.
I know I have to move on from this feeling. Our donor is so sincere and caring. I should know better. This is very hard for me. Being a woman, knowing what I was created to do. I can not. Another woman is trying to have my child. A lot of you are saying it doesn’t matter where a child comes from. A mother is a woman that cares nurtures and guides a child in life. I’m not arguing that fact. I agree. However the underline of my inability to conceive a child is what I am referring to.  There is a moment where I think most infertile women going through surrogacy realize, this is going to be more difficult than I thought. There are emotions and thoughts streaming through me right now. I don’t know where to put them? All I can do is blog. So, here I am. I’m taking our journey day by day.

The eagle has landed...

It’s Sunday and the metaphor,” waiting on pins and needles” is a major understatement. We’ve been wondering all day if or when her arrival will be?  Then we finally received word from Lexi a little while ago. Angel has arrived safely in India. She will be going to the clinic soon to see how things are developing. I won’t lie, I was totally expecting more. Like what? I’m not sure. I think I will wait a day or so, then text Angel to see how she and the process are progressing.

Of course she will be delayed..

We received word from Lexi this evening that most flights were cancelled yesterday. So the donors are on standby waiting for the first flight out of Seattle. They connect to Amsterdam, then to India. She did say that the weather is warming up, so they shouldn’t have any issues getting out.
Lexi also informed us once the donors land in India, Dr. Samit will monitor them very closely and adjust the medication if needed. Yes, we are holding our breath.

Delayed due to bad weather….

Kevin and I were watching Fox News this morning and heard that the weather in the Seattle area is supposed to get heavy snow and most flights will be either delayed or cancelled, ha, wouldn’t you know? Panicked, we emailed Anjani inquiring on Angel’s fertility shots in the case that she is delayed for a day or two?  We received a very quick, kind reassuring email from Dr. Samit.  He says they have provided extra shots to our donor. So even if she is delayed, she will be able to take the shots and arrive at the clinic in good condition for the Oocyte retrieval.  Let’s hope the weather is good to all of us tomorrow!

My trip to India

Hello, this is Kevin writing for the first time.  I just got back from my trip to India and I would like to tell everyone a little bit about it.

First of all, my journey to India was filled with a lot of hassle.  I went through Hong Kong but my plane arrived late there and I missed my connection to Delhi.  I waited in line for 1 hour while the person from Jet Airways tried to help the people in front of me.  Finally, we was done and then tried to help me but she was of no use.  She transferred me over to the Cathay Pacific person as they were the ones who were late.  They were trying to find me a flight for that evening so that I could arrive in Hyderabad in the morning.  I was trying to tell them that I only needed to get to Hyderabad.  I didn’t care which other city I went through.  There was a flight through Mumbai that could connect to Hyderabad but they weren’t listening.  All of a sudden, the girl from Jet Airways left and put up a sign that said Closed.  I was like where are you going.  And she said we are closed and Cathay will take care of it.  A long time later, this nice man helped me out as I was able to fly through Chennai to get to Hyderabad.  I arrived in Hyderabad at 8am and was lacking lots of sleep.

The airport in Hyderabad was very new and very nice.  I was able to find the concierge for the Taj Banjara hotel.  This hotel is where KIC set up for me to stay.  I arrived at the hotel within one hour.  The hotel was very nice.  As I travel overseas to China a lot, this hotel was very familiar to me.  It was dedicated more towards the Western style.  The rooms were very nice and they had many amenities.

Later that morning in my room, I received a call from Anjani asking what time was good for me to come and give my first sample.  We settled on 11am.  A driver picked me up just before 11am and took me to the clinic. 

The clinic is very clean and the people there are very nice.  There were many people there for fertility reasons.  People like myself coming from afar and also many local people.  I met Anjani and Dr. Samit.  Dr. Samit and I went over the plans for what he was going to do after I gave all my samples and after our egg donor arrived there.  He was very professional, but very warming at the same time.  You could tell that he cared very much about his job and the people that he interacted with.

Within the hour I gave my first sample.  After that, I was kind of like, okay, what do I do now.  Well, Anjani had set up some site seeing with a couple that was there for the same reason I was.  That afternoon we went visiting a couple of historic buildings and many different shops.  After a long day, I headed back to the hotel.

My next two days were basically the same as the first.  I woke up early and had a Western style…eggs, bacon, cereal, toast…breakfast.  At 11am, I went to the clinic to give another sample.  I then went site seeing again with the same couple.  We saw many different museums, older temples, burials, and forts.  It was all very cool to see all that history.  We received some information from locals that were hanging around all these sites.  You would think that all they want is your money, but in reality for just a few bucks they will give you a nice tour and tell you all the history there is to know about where we were.  Whether it was true or not, I don’t know, but it was very nice to have someone tell you something about what you were looking at.

For those of you that have never travelled to an area such as India or China, it is quite the experience.  In Hyderabad there are many different scenes.  From the poor to the rich, you will find it all.  And each part has its own fascinations.  You are able to see how people live in different ways especially by the stores that they own and the homes that they live in.  Near the hotel, there were many restaurants and shops, from Indian style to Western style.  So there was everything around in case you wanted to try things or wanted to stick to your usual eating and shopping routines.

I met 3 wonderful couples on my trip as well as a single father.  One of the couples just had twins and the single father just had triplets…all girls.  The other two couples were there to begin their surrogacy process just like Angela and me.   I hung around with one of the couple on a couple of occasions as we travelled to some museum, shops, and also a flea market type area.  On the second evening, all of us went out for dinner one night to this amazing restaurant that was on top of this building.  Anjani met us there too.  The food was really good and we all shared our stories about where we were at in the process.  The couples who already had children, told their stories about how wonderful the whole experience was.  I loved to hear this as I hoped that I would be back in India sitting at dinner with Angela and others telling our story and our journey to other couples.

On my third evening, two couples and myself went to this unbelievable place called the Falakuma Palace.  It had just opened its restaurant to people that were not staying at this place as guests.  We went in the evening and it was a magnificent place.  I could only imagine what it was like during the day.  It seemed as it was at the top of the only hill in Hyderabad.  The architecture of the outside and inside was fabulous.  The food in the restaurant was amazing.  There was only one set menu and you were able to get everything on the menu in as big or small a portion as you wanted.  We definitely all left there stuffed.

On my final day, I again went to clinic around 11am and gave my final sample.  I said goodbye to Dr. Samit and thanked him for all that he was doing for us.  I then went to the pearl district where the clinic has good friends at a shop where you can get great deal on any kinds of pearl jewelry there is to offer.  I picked out a few things for Angela…double beaded necklace, bracelet, and stud earrings.

By this time it was time for me to head back to the hotel and grab a taxi to the airport.  I gave Anjani a call and thanked him for everything that he had put together.

My trip back to China was much better.  I made it there with no delays and no problems.  I guess there was one problem, I was now off to work in China for 2 weeks.  Until later!

Kevin in India-January 2012

Happy New Year! With Much Anticipation…

 Seattle, wow...did we have such a great time. That was the best New Year’s Eve I’ve ever had.  Saturday morning we woke up with much excitement and nerves on edge (to say the least). We have been waiting for this day all week.  Once we landed, we both were occupied with downtown Seattle’s beautiful city not to mention the cold weather). The city has so much to see and do. We checked into our hotel room and quickly went for a short walk around town. Before we knew it, we arrived at the restaurant “Von’s”. We met up with Lexi and Angel around 1:00ish.
 To explain my first reaction was, “wow she is so small, tall and beautiful. Kevin and I welcomed her with a big hug and smile. We began talking like we’ve known each other for years.
 Lexi informed us that Angel had already begun her cycle of taking birth control. We also found out Angel will begin starting her fertility shots around January 14^th and leaving Seattle to India in the 15^th. We were told that there is another egg donor from Seattle going for retrieval at KIC as well. She will be traveling with our egg donor on the same flight and staying at the same hotel. This has put Angel at ease as well as her family and us.
 We spent the next several hours learning in detail everything about her life. Where she was born, where she grew up and how she came to live in Seattle. We learned in detail about her, what she was like, is like and what she would like to be like in five years. It was then that she took the time to explain to us how and why she choose to become an egg donor an. She said that she learned about becoming an egg donor from a friend that had just donated herself. She learned about the process, the cons/ pros and the outcome of it all. She told us she wanted to help a couple become a loving family..she wanted to give them that gift. So told us she wanted to meet us, before we had asked.
You see, intended parents and egg donors do not meet each other about 94% of the time. It’s a way of keeping the personal side of it (referring to emotions, other opinions or suggestions) and the business side of it separate. There are some egg donors that have “open option” on their profile. This is a possibility that she will be open to meet the child once he/she becomes 18. She was one of them. No, it doesn’t bother me at all. Our child will know his/her story in time. I will proudly tell him why I couldn’t have children, so we asked another woman to help us. When they become of age, I will encourage him to want to meet her. I know the feeling of wanting to meet my other biological half. I was adopted by my father when I was a very young toddler. I was told about my situation when I was ten. I understood what lead my mother and me to the man that adopted me. I understood there was someone out there that was my blood. However, I understood, my father was my dad. He is and always will be.
I then told her for our reasoning for wanting to meet her. I explained that” I have waited my whole life to become a mother. I wanted to meet you. To tell you in person how much I appreciate everything you are doing for us. I believe it takes a special person to make this choice. I knew as soon as I read your profile that you were the perfect one. I am overwhelmed with love, gratitude and happiness to you now and forever. I wanted you to meet us also to get to know us. To learn about us, who we are and what kind of parents we will be”. As both Angel and I were sobbing our eyes out, Lexi said” okay, okay, no crying. This is a happy moment”. In deed it was. We all talked further about the process, our lives and again, the joy we have found in one another. We finally had to say our good-byes. As Angel and I were hugging, through tears she asked me if it was okay if we let her know how things were going once in awhile. She wasn’t specific in regards to the pregnancy or after. But I knew what she meant. She also asked for a picture. She too wanted to remain in contact with me. I of course said “yes”. As Kevin and I had regained our emotions and tried to come off of cloud nine, we decided to hit the town. We had the best night ever. As we laid down to sleep that night, I couldn’t help but think “o’my gosh, this time next year, I could be a mommy”. I had the best dream I’ve ever had that night.

Kevin and I in Seattle that evening